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Terhibur hatiku petang ni :D :D

The Laws of Ultimate Reality

dapat ni kat dalam email. pasti majoriti manusia dalam dunia ni penah mengalami benda2 ni (i sure have!)

1. Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

**penah kena - masa tu dah pakai cleanroom garment bagai, pastu macam2 la tempat kat badan ni yang mula rasa gatal, tapi takleh nak garu huhu...

2. Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

**penah kena - pen ke syiling ke biasanya kalau jatuh, mesti la nak tergolek masuk celah2 meja la, celah2 katil la...

3. Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

**penah kena tapi jarang2 (sebbaik...) - barang terjatuh, badan terjatuh kat tempai ramai orang, adehhh!!!

4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

**penah kena - tapi kadang2 tu takde orang angkat pung (alhamdulillah...)

5. Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

**penah kena - kesimpulannya, jangan menipu! nanti betul2 kena...

6. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

**slalu sangat kena - kesimpulannya, jangan dok gatai2 pi tukaq lane...

7. Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

**penah kena - tapi jarang2

8. Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

**penah kena - masa tu jalan2 dengan my significant other (time tu blom ada ikatan sah lagi, hehe...), terserempak pulak dengan si pembawa berita sensasi... adehhh!!!

9.Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

**yang ni alhamdulliah blom penah kena lagi

10. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

**penah kena - gatal dalam lubang tinge yang paling dalam, cemana nak garu ek???

11. Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

**penah kena - tapi slalunya aku la orang yang sampai lambat tu, ngehehe...

12. The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

**penah kena - ni bila dapat bos yang jarang minum pagi, dia pedulik hapa orang lain nak minum ke tak.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

**yang ni tak penah kena sebab tak penah ada locker hehe, tapi situasi camni macam biasa je tengok dalam citer omputih kan...

14. Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

**yang ni tak penah kena sebab jarang makan atas kapet hahaha!

15. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

**penah kena n penah buat - membebel je sampai tak tatau ke mana arah lagi dah...

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

**penah kena - tapi aku tak kisah sebab aku mementingkan comfort lebih daripada rupa.

17. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

**yang ni tak ingat penah kena ke tak, tapi ada contoh. contohnya, ada la sorang hamba Allah ni dah timbang2 nak beli kelisa kereta yang kiut lagi save minyak, masa tu la perodua announce kata kelisa takkan di manufacture lagi lepas tu...

18. Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

**penah kena - sampai risau takut tuan lokter ingat aku ni buat2 sakit semata2 nak dapatkan mc, uwaaa!!!

i really like this one, i can't help but post it on my blog. klaka klaka....
my favourite? rahsia hehehe, psiko psiko...

source: http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."